The Transformative Power of Coming Out
Harvey Milk recognized it more than three decades ago. Coming out is the ultimate act of liberation. Politically. Personally. Spiritually.
We know coming out changes the world one person at a time. Once someone has a daughter, nephew, music teacher, grade school friend, or favorite actor who is LGBT, they will never be the same. After that, the issue is personal. They will be much more supportive of equality for LGBT people. Polls tell us this. But we don't need polls. We know human nature.
For LGBT people, coming out changes us inside. We are no longer hiding and feeling shame. Instead, we're embracing our identity and engaging honestly with the world. And we're making it possible to fall in love. This is the best part. Falling in love. With ourselves and with someone who captivates our hearts.
I get so many emails from teens who have read my coming out novel, David Inside Out. They want to come out themselves. They know this is right. But they're afraid. Of harassment at school or parental rejection. Some have a friend take the book out for them. Or they read it surrepticiously at the bookstore. It's sad, but I am hopeful for them. They are facing up to the decision to come out.
In the novel, David faces his fear of coming out. First, he has to come out to himself. That is the hardest person. And then to his friends and mother. He struggles mightily at first. Many of my readers identify with him. They don't want to be gay. But they know they are. And they want to be honest about it. They are cheered by David's friend, Eddie, who is starting a GSA at school. And they are horrified by Sean who can't be honest with himself about his gay feelings.
I understand why Sean runs the other way. There are so many reasons to fear coming out. The stereotypes. The people who go eeuuww. The parents who think you're making a mistake. The religious zealots who say you're bringing down civilization.
But all of that is small potatoes. Let them go eeuuww and brandish their crucifixes. What of it?
And don't worry too much about the parents. They'll come around.
Coming out brings the joy of being your true self, of finding embrace in the LGBT community, and maybe, if you play your cards right, of falling in love with someone who will love you back in equal measure.
Coming out changes the world one person at a time. Forever. Coming out changes you inside. Forever.
That's powerful!!!!
Lee Bantle is the author of David Inside Out and also a middle grade title, Diving for the Moon. Lee used some of his own experiences as a gay teen growing up in Minesota in his novel David Inside Out. In addition to being an author Lee is also a lawyer in New York. You can find more information about Lee and his novels at his website.