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Author Tales: Beth Fantaskey

Beth Fantaskey is the author for this Thursday's Author Tales. Beth is the author of Jessica's Guide to Dating on the Dark Side, which is her debut novel. If you would like more information about Beth and her debut novel you can visit her website: http://bethfantaskey.com/
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Beth Fantaskey (1/27/09)

The underpants that I wear say something about me.

It’s not that they’re extra lacy, or “athletic cut,” or “granny panties,” even.

My underpants literally say something about me.

I have this seven-pack that I bought at The Gap, a long time ago, and each pair is printed with a – pun intended – “brief” affirmation.

I am beautiful. I am smart. I am creative.

I purchased these panties because they were phenomenally cheap, piles of unwanted packs lingering in one of those wonderful Gap blow-out sale bins. I didn’t even like the words. Like most women, apparently, I didn’t think I needed that kind of boost from my underwear.
But the funny thing was, as I started to wear my verbally supportive undergarments, I realized that some days I felt like a hypocrite. Some days I didn’t think I was beautiful. Or smart. Or creative.

And yet, there was one pair that I always felt physically and psychically comfortable in.

I am funny.

As time went on, and laundry cycled through, I came to realize…

I REALLY AM FUNNY.

“So what,” you are probably asking, “does this have to do with… anything?”

Well, it has to do with writing, and succeeding, and understanding oneself.

I wrote two novels before I sold my third. The first two were aimed at a specific publisher, and while neither was bad, both were… blah. I guess I wasn’t even really surprised when the rejections came. I wasn’t writing true to me. I was writing to fulfill a goal of getting published. Pandering.

And then one day, I had this idea for a story about a very rational girl who learns that she’s destined to be a vampire princess, and soon I was writing the character of Lucius, the vampire prince.

Lucius seemed to spring to life, fully formed, and when I heard his voice in my head, he wasn’t just dark and sexy, like I anticipated. He was sarcastic, and witty, and sometimes downright funny.

A part of me rebelled: Publishers won’t want a funny vampire! Vampires are… serious!
But Lucius was who he was, which was part of me, and I let him show humor. And soon Jessica’s Guide to Dating on the Dark Side sold to a publisher.

I trusted myself, and my underwear, and I went for it.

Of course, the novel, itself, is ultimately about a girl who learns to accept a core truth about herself – that she is a vampire, not just because an old document says so, but because she IS.
High school, the setting of Jessica’s Guide, is a crucible where we start to comes to terms with the truths of who we are – the good and the bad. In my case, though, the process hasn’t ended since I became an “adult.” Sometimes realization is still dawning when I’m standing in my bedroom and pulling on my underpants.

Heck… I still don’t understand aspects of myself. In large part, I’m a complete mystery to me.
When an epiphany does occur, though, it’s a beautiful thing. I like to have a few solid things that I know about me. (I am shy. The very atoms that compose me are shy.)

I also know that I should get rid of my now-ragged Gap underpants. They’ve outlived not just their elastic, but their purpose on other levels, too. But the fact is, I still like reminding myself, now and then, that I am funny. Some days, that truth – along with a worn-out pair of panties – is enough to carry me through the day.
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Thanks Beth for that inspiring guest post!! If you'd like to read Jessica's Guide to Dating on the Dark Side, here is your chance! Leave a comment on this post to gain an entry to win a signed copy of Jessica's Guide to Dating on the Dark Side by Beth Fantaskey! Entries will be accepted until February 12, 2009! Good Luck! This contest is only open to residents of the U.S. and Canada.