Writing From a Male Point of View
Writers are often challenged to write from the point of view of the opposite sex, and many struggle with this exercise. Viewing the world from another perspective requires that we abandon our natural instincts. Since each book in my series, The Circle of Friends, contains both a male and a female lead character, I had to fully understand the differences.
This involved some research. I read dozens of relationship books, seeking to comprehend the distinct qualities of the male gender. The books that provided me with the most insight were Men Are From Mars, Women From Venus and the Connecting With Your Husband/Wife series. Men and women really do view the world through different eyes!
Some key points I had to consider while writing from my male character’s POV:
- Men are not detail-oriented, at least not in the area of observation. They are focused on the big picture. When a man walks into a room, it’s doubtful he will notice the pattern on the couch or the smell of flowers by the window.
- Men tend to process information internally. While a woman will discuss her situation with friends, a man will privately think through his problems. Men tend to internalize rather than verbalize when seeking an answer. If he does discuss the situation, he wants answers not support. (Women learn quickly not to vent in front of a man if all they want is a sympathetic ear!)
- Because men normally do not discuss their problems, they use fewer words than women – by half! They tend to verbalize facts and opinions rather than feelings, too.
- Men focus better than women, who rely more on ‘diffused awareness.’ Once a man selects a course of action, little can distract him. While women multi-task with ease, men tend to focus on one thing at a time.
- Due to the amount of testosterone a man’s brain receives before he is born, he cannot think both logically and emotionally at the same time. Thus, when a man offers a logical explanation, a woman’s emotional reasoning simply doesn’t compute. By the same token, when a man grows angry, rationalizing with him is nearly impossible.
- Men are not as emotionally expressive as their female counterparts. They are simply not wired in that manner.
- Last but not least, women seek to connect emotionally while men seek to connect… physically. The stirrings of love in a man come from physical attraction and contact first, emotional attachment second.
While all of that may appear to be stereotyping, it does provide a fundamental base for the male POV. Environment, background, and basic personality type also factor into the equation.
Armed with this knowledge, I found writing from a male perspective much easier. Book III of my series is mostly from the viewpoint of James, and while the trauma of his life added to the depth of his character, he was still fundamentally simple. It was refreshing to discard my women intuitions and interpretations and just deal with the basics.
I’d dare say it was almost liberating!
L. Diane Wolfe, professional speaker & author www.thecircleoffriends.net www.spunkonastick.net
Known as “Spunk On A Stick,” to her fans, the author is a member of the National Speakers Association. Her young adult series, The Circle of Friends, features morally grounded, positive stories that appeal to both teens and concerned parents. “Overcoming Obstacles With SPUNK! The Keys to Leadership & Goal-Setting”, ties all of Wolfe’s goal-setting and leadership seminar’s information together into one complete, enthusiastic package. Ten years associating with a motivation training system and her experience as a foster parent gave her the in-depth knowledge of relationships, personality traits and success principals. Wolfe travels the East Coast extensively for media interviews and speaking engagements, averaging over one hundred appearances each year. She maintains a dozen websites & blogs, manages an online writer’s group, and contribute articles for several other sites.
The latest in her series, The Circle of Friends, Book III…James, is now available.
Book Info & Links:
Author Sites:
http://www.thecircleoffriends.net/
http://www.spunkonastick.net/
Book III online:
Amazon
Barnes & Noble
Dancing Lemur Press